My First Tornado Warning...

...And I'm currently in the closet, 'cause I can't figure out how to work Sawyer's harness, and he won't sit still long enough for me to try.

And Crysta's at mom's house. JOY.

Amy (an old friend in MI) said not to worry, and I'm trying not to. But, for all you tornado-survivors out there, imagine your first 5.0 or 6.0 earthquake. Freaked or would freak you the hell out, right? Well, that's what a Tornado warning does to me. So I'm sitting in the closet, listening to grainy radio (cause we have no TV), and trying not to flip. Sawyer is above me, on the shelf, purring away and looking generally content.

Freaking cat.


So until 6:15 I will sit here, having to pee, and wait until the warning is over. It was a little cool hearing the sirens for the first time, though. Had I had Netflix playing, I wouldn't have heard them at all. They are VERY far from my apartment, it seems. Not good for nighttime. I sleep through anything.

I've opened windows, made sure I have stuff in the closet, and have the radio on and to a news channel. You may think this overkill, but if you know me at all, you know I'm paranoid, prepare early, and over prepare... just in case. It never hurts.

So... I'm going to scoot to the bathroom quickly, then settle in with some NPR and wait it out.

While birds sing, and squirrels bark...

...life goes on in Michigan, if a little more humid, a little more stormy, a little more gloomy. Sorry I haven't updated in over a week. I'd like to say that life keeps getting the better of me, and that my adventures are never-ending and  oh-so-fun. Life, however, has gone back to what it was in California- an endless cycle of classes, homework and job-hunting. The more time I have to sit, the more homesick I get. Homework is fairly easy to get done (except the paper I'm ignoring to write this), and I don't have a job to lose myself in (more on that below), so I spend a lot of time calling or texting friends and family back in my home state. I kind of understand now, leaving and not staying in total contact with everyone you left behind. It's heartbreaking to hear about all the things you wish you could be doing. In my case, it makes me think about how little friends (actual, real, solid, always-by-your-side-know-everything-about-you-friends) I have here, and how much I wish, despite my unhappiness in Southern California, I was back home. Maybe it's the gloomy weather, maybe it's my lack of anything to do, but I'm hardcore homesick.

I did get to talk to Chelsea two nights ago via webcam and Skype, and that did lift my spirits a lot. I miss her more than anyone, I think. I wish I could join her in LA, or just hang out in her livingroom surfing through channels and eating good food. I loved seeing her artwork, and getting to see weird Chelsea, whom I miss a LOT. I miss Miles, and his crazy family. I miss going to $2 movies and drinking in the theatre. I miss having two-hour long talks with my brother in the livingroom about nothing particularly important. I miss Pat's hugs and scolding looks. I really, really miss Kurdt.

But, I do have clients slowly trickling in for tutoring sessions. I do have an interview next week about a delivery job that I really, really want. I still have tutoring on Mondays, which I am terribly excited about. I love the environment and helping students be better students. So I do do some things in Michigan. I have a few school friends, and we talk before class, but I'm still lacking those friends that you love at first sight, and feel like you've known for years despite it being days. Maybe those don't happen as often in adulthood as they did in childhood and adolescence. If not, that's really dumb. Open up, people.

Next weekend is the World Steam Expo, and Crysta and I have been finishing up out outfits for it. We're still waiting on our corsets, set to arrive from the UK about a week ago. Without them.. we're kind of screwed. Neither of us has a back up plan good enough to show off at a Steampunk convention. Here's hoping our corsets arrive sometime this coming week. We'll be going to the Expo with our gaming friends and Crysta's beau. It will be great to spend time with them outside of game night. I'm trying to attach myself further in the group, even though it kind of feels like they want to keep me outside longer. I feel like there's some test I haven't passed yet, that would get me full disclosure. I hope it comes up soon so I can get on with it. I promise I'll pass with flying colours.

I've been craving canine attentions for weeks now, and it's driving me mad. I like cats, and Sawyer is pretty damn close to a dog, but I demand the real thing. Dogs are so much easier to care for than indoor cats. I keep secretly praying that I'll find a stray wandering around our apartment complex and get to keep him. But now Crysta knows my plan, and I'll have to come up with a new one. I don't feel as happy of a person without a dog. Cats are nowhere near the same. They're great in some ways, but they're not willing to meet my needs like a dog would. When I come home from school, I don't want to be meowed at for ten minutes because I haven't fed them yet. When I come home I want something to be there that goes "OMG YAY! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" Our cats are more like "Why the hell did it take you so long?" It's kind of like having two mother-in-laws in the house, berating my every move. I just want a little dog, I promise. No one will even know it's here. :(

Other than that, nothing has really gone on in life. I love my Psych classes and despise English (methinks I picked the wrong major five and a half years ago, oh well), and am just waiting until mid-June, when I go on my short little summer break. Not much going on on my end, but I love and miss you all terribly!

Sorry for the depressing blog this week, folks. Next week will be better, I can feel it.

Will work for.. well.. work.

 Wow, it's been a week since I've updated? I would say I've been busy, but that's not the case. I did finish my first week of school at Eastern. Honestly, there's not much to say about it. I'm taking classes that I've either taken something similar before, or that is so far below my level that sitting through two and a half hours of lecture kills me with boredom. I'm taking a Psychology 101 lecture, and a lab that kind of goes with it. Both are incredibly boring, and in the worst classrooms I have ever been in (and I went to PCC). The lab isn't too difficult, but the book was $50, and it's seriously a throw-away class. It's only one unit. It's dumb. The psych lecture is SO BORING. My prof is the most boring woman on the planet. I would have SO much fun in psychology class, but she somehow manages to make it torture. Two and a half hours of boring writing. And I never think writing is boring. English, despite the friends I've made in the class, is horrific. I despise analyzing literature. I hate it. I hate it more than I can say. As an English Major I know I'm not supposed to, but it's seriously the hardest thing for me to do. I have never been able to look at a poem or a piece of writing and tell you my interpretation of it. I never have interpretations of writing. I take it either at face value, or I'm too worried about trying to get the right answer. And this prof listens to others' opinions, but she ultimately wants a right answer.

Also, we have TWO group presentations, and I do not work in groups.

But tutoring at 826michigan is still SO fun, and I think I'll get my credentials to teach after I graduate. I'll probably try to get them in California so I can get them with the higher standards that let me teach more places. So, for all you wonderful people pining for me, this means I'll probably come back. I don't know for how long, but I'll be there.

Mother's Day was lovely, and it was the best I've had since Mom died. The Tulip Festival in Holland was so very pretty, and mom had a great day out. Crysta and I made breakfast for the family, and Jay (Crysta's brother) made dinner. I love family time. And dogs. I'm still pining for one, but Baggins and Higgins calmed me down a bit. I just wish I could see them more often.

I still don't have a job, though. I'm nearly out of money and I'm getting desperate. I've applied to at least fifty places, with an average of three applications being sent out a day. Everyone in the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti area has my resume. I'm about ready to play my guitar on the curb and put out a hat. Hell, if I knew more than one song I'd be out in Downtown every Saturday.

If you could, I'd love some prayer on that. Pray that I find a job quickly. It doesn't have to be great, or pay me exactly what I'm looking for, but I need something, anything.

Oh no. I'm a teacher.

I had my first day of volunteer tutoring today at 826michigan. It's the writing center that's disguised as a Robot shop. It serves as a free place for kids to go to get help with their homework. Today I got to work with the smartest, most level-headed girl in the universe. She's trying to get into Northwestern's summer program that focuses on changing communities for the better and creating awareness and programs to help solve social problems. It's something that I would love to do as a college student, but it's even better that it's for high school students. She's writing her entry essay, and I barely had to do anything more than give her the idea opener of "I want to join this program because..." It was amazing. She flew through those reasons and laid them out with more thought and eloquence than I could have ever written with a million years to perfect it.

Crap, I'm going to be a teacher, aren't I? Although, I like volunteering as a tutor a lot more than working as one. There is so much less stress as a volunteer, and my job doesn't have to come home with me. I'm excited to go there every Monday, and I wish I could volunteer more often. I'm still looking for that glorious tutoring job, but for now I think this will suffice.

Now if I could just get that REAL job people keep talking about.

Duarte, California, Duarte, California, not Louisiana, Paris, France, New York, or Rooome...

There are times, after I move, that I long for something familiar. Even when I'm only ten minutes away in the ghettos of Azusa, there are moments of doubt, of wishing for something or someone from good ole Duarte to remind me where I came from, and where my heart will always call home. The past few days have been terribly hard. I'm starting to crave the comforts of home. I'd like to sleep in my old room, hear the fervent gnawing of my rat, laugh with Chelsea over something one of her co-workers did, or just hang out in my living room watching whatever happens to be on TV at the time. Sure, I have my old bed, but it's still not the same one. I have Sawyer, but he hardly wants anything to do with me, I have Crysta, who's basically saving my life without knowing it (til now, I suppose), I have a living room. I have a TV that doesn't really get channels. I have the internet, I have Facebook, but none of it can exactly replace what I left behind 2,000 miles ago.

I know that soon school will start, and my volunteer work, and then hopefully a job... and I'll make new friends (God willing), and have people to hang out with, and start wishing for more alone time that I get too much of now. That still doesn't change my evenings of staring at photos with tears in my eyes, or watching TV shows that make me cry because that character is so much like Miles, or Jess, or anyone else. I miss my dad, my brother, my nephew... and no one here is going to fill those positions. Yes, I have Mom and both sides of Crysta's family, but I want my own, too.

I apologize if this sounds like whining, but it kind of is. I plan on sharing all my experiences in Michigan on this blog, not just what I did today, but also how I feel about it. And right now I feel lonely. I'm nearly overwhelmed with things to do here, but I'm lonely for home.

I -really- want my dog. A lot.

Other than that, things have been kind of boring. My school adventures yielded me two classes and a lab- English, a writing course; and Psych 101 plus its lab. It's a shortened semester, kind of like taking summer classes, so 6 units is about all anyone does, and I've got 7. Whee, lookit me, over-achieving like that. :/ But I go to school Tuesdays and Thursdays, the weirdest schedule I've ever had, but it leaves me with a LOT of time to work.

Although no one is hiring me. But I have faith in God that he'll provide.

I will also be attending my new church tomorrow for the first time. It's not a moment too soon. I really need some Christian friends. Which is not meant to offend my non-Christian roommate and friends, of course. I love them dearly, but I need people who share my faith, too. I'm not a very strong Christian when made to stand by myself. I like having the backup and talking to people who share my faith and worldview. Everyone needs people like that. I hope I can find some at the Ann Arbor Vineyard. I'm really excited to go. I've missed Worshiping more than I can express. I have a feeling my loneliness will wane once I have something to look forward to every Sunday morning.

Ugh, I'm gonna go watch Scrubs and knit my troubles away.

In which there weren't actually any dinosaurs...

I have never had such a busy Easter! That was more family seen in one day in Michigan than I see in a week in California. Crysta and I went to Kzoo Saturday night after she got off of work. It would've been horrific to wake up early to make it to church and breakfast on Sunday morning. The night was uneventful, and I was really just happy to see dogs again. It really sucks finding out how much of a dog person I am now that I have two cats. I have a feeling I'll be at mom's house a lot to get my puppy fix. Labs are so much fun!

Anyhoo, the next morning mom, Crys and I were up suuuper early to get to church. That we couldn't find. Apparently Portage/Kalamazoo like sunrise services and late morning services, but 8 am? Nothin'. We and mom's friend Sandy drove all around looking for a church service. I've never gone church-hunting before. It was... strange. I realised how similar Christianity is between the denominations. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I guess I take for granted not only knowing the different traditions, but being part of a specific denomination. Things like Easter are easy- service is a 9:30. Dress a tad nicer than normal. We'll take communion and it'll be great. Driving around made me a little homesick. I really miss my church.

It was my first time at a Methodist church, however, and even though the service was traditional, it was great! I will never be able to think of Jesus again without the theme from 2001 playing in my head. The pastor was a great and really funny guy. I'm sad we had to leave early, but breakfast called! That was pretty fantastic as well. I got to see a lot of Crysta's family that I hadn't seen since October. Thankfully this meeting was on a happier note than the last. It was relatively short, but very nice to be out with family.

After a bit of rest, Crysta, Jay and I ran off to see their cousin and her kids and a lot of other peoples' kids hunt for eggs at a really pretty park. Those kids hit those eggs like wildfire. I blinked and they were done! But they were all so adorable doing it. <3

What came next..? Oh! Dinner! That was awkward. For reasons I can't give out here it was awkward. And hilarious. And everything I'd never had in a family dinner before. I love open people. And I love snarky uncles.

I also got to be Ran last night, a good friend of Crysta's. He's a super fun guy. All that's left is to meet Derek and I think I've got my bingo card filled.

Phew! That was a long Easter, not including the drive home. And this is a long blog, so I think I'll save the Detroit Zoo for tomorrow. What I can tell you, however, is that I GOT CLASSES. I'll be taking a psych class and an English class this quarter. There are only 7.5 weeks to it, so they don't recommend taking more than 6 credits. Not a problem for me since I'm still trying to find a job. But I've got my ID, my classes and parking pass. School starts May 3rd, and I cannot WAIT!

Now, to figure out where my classes are...

Goths just wanna have fu-un...

I'll talk about Easter tomorrow, for now this is still fresh and I want to make sure I get it down.

I love Midwestern Goths. Especially when they only have one club to go to within thirty miles. Tonight, Crysta, her boyfriend and I went to Factory at Necto, a little club in downtown Ann Arbor. It's a little hole in the wall (well, by my standards as an LA Goth) with an average-sized dance floor, and a bar upstairs. There's a smoke machine and a little stage with two poles for the braver patrons. It was not the layout that caught my attention, however.

I've been to LA Goth clubs, and it's all about how you look. Making a good impression is key, although I'm not sure why because they're all going to be snooty and pretentious anyway. If you look off, people notice. If you dance differently, people notice. If you try to be nice to them, or say "excuse me," or give them any kind of smile, they notice and they don't like it. Going to Goth clubs in LA isn't actually a lot of fun for me. I'm not skinny, I don't dress like a slut.. and in LA, those are problems.

Tonight, however, I was definitely not the biggest girl there. Nor was I the most conservative. Nor was I even the most under-dressed. When all you've got in a big city is one Goth club, you get all kinds. There were ravers, industrial kids, zombies, regular ole goths like me, lolitas... name it and it was there. And it was great! We all danced on the same floor, to music that cycled through to fulfill everyone's dancing needs.. and my drink was $2. You heard me right. Two #*^% dollars. For a vodka cranberry. I am blown away! I know where I'm drinking for the rest of the year. And it was goooood.

I promise, I only had one. Everything in moderation, yes?

I'm so excited about that place. I finally danced how I wanted to without having to worry about what I looked like. I even accidentally bumped into a girl, and she was totally cool about it! No dirty looks, no nothing! She smiled, even! Until now, I thought the only smiling Goths lived in the South.

And I looked GOOD tonight, let me tell you.